TWO.ONE.FOUR Episode One: The Black Wall
Two.One.Four
Episode One
“The Black Wall”
Scene 1: EXT Oxford Street DAY. Busy, busy, busy. Crowds walking, talking, laughing, shopping – tourists, families, trendies, workers – crossing the road, looking in shop windows. Cars honk, people shout. The camera rushes through the crowds and find the exterior of ATTIRE – the jewel in the crown of the OBSIDIAN group – the largest single fashion store in Europe.
Scene 2: INT Attire Menswear DAY. People are shopping, people are browsing. Close-ups of trendy mannequins, cutting edge clothes – fashioniastas swanning about and average joe customers looking at more basic items.
Scene 3: INT Suit&Smart Department DAY. WILLIAM is standing with JADE facing a long wall of the department filled entirely with smart black clothes. William is fairly tall, thin and immaculate – sharp, clean, well coiffed dark brown hair swept into a slick side parting/quiff. Dressed to kill. Jade is shorter, mixed-race – shiny and swoopy jet black hair. She’s effortlessly stylish. She has a fun but quite mischievous air about her whereas William oozes malice. On the wall in front there’re black suits, black shirts, black waistcoats, black tops, black ties. There’s shiny black and rough black, glittery black and matt black. William and Jade both have their arms crossed, looking pensively at the wall. UNKNOWN EMPLOYEES are darting about here and there, arranging the black clothes.
William: It’s perfect. The black wall. (He pauses) Except –
William walks forwards and pulls a shirt from somewhere on the wall and waves it at a frightened looking unknown employee girl.
William: Charcoal? Honestly? Are you colour blind?
Jade comes and stands just behind William.
Jade: People like you disgust me.
Unknown Employee: We were running out of black! I just thought –
William (interrupting): You’re not paid to think. I’m the head of this department – your job is to do what I say.
Unknown Employee: Actually my job is to be on the fitting room, you dragged me over here –
William (he looks at the girl like she’s mad): JADE!
Jade (she waves her hand at the girl): Shoo! Be gone before somebody drops a house on you!
The girl looks bemused and insulted but scurries away regardless.
Jade: The wall does look great William. Black is beautiful. And just in time for partay season! (JADE shakes her hips in a strange kind of dance.)
William (Pleased with himself): I know. It’s iconic isn’t it?
Jade: It is.
William: And when management see the increase in sales as a result they’ll have no choice but to elevate me. (He rubs his hands together in anticipation.)
Jade: And……
William: And then I, of course, can elevate you. (He eyes the wall gleefully.) We’ll be running this store in no time.
Scene 4: INT Stockroom DAY. Stock room employees are busily unwrapping new deliveries and hanging them in the background. In the foreground GEORGE and EVE are picking t-shirts off a rail. They’re both visual merchandisers but both wanting more. George is average height, slim, attractive enough without being drop dead gorgeous. Eve is just a few inches shorter, blonde hair – she’s got her own great style which merges retro with now. She’s traditionally beautiful.
George: God Eve I could do with not being here today. When the alarm went off this morning it was not a welcome sound.
Eve: Tell me about it. Doesn’t help the hot water’s off in my flat so getting ready was a joy. Who doesn’t love a cold shower in November at half six in the morning?
George (half laughing, half frowning): Oh that sounds horrid! You look fabulous though if that’s any compensation.
Eve: Aww thanks, do you think? You know me George, it’s just effortless. I just throw these things on and they just look amazing, I can’t help it.
George (laughing): It must be a terrible curse! And that top is one of your own designs isn’t it? You’re such a talented designer, one day you’ll be rich and famous.
They start walking side by side at a slow pace towards the stockroom door, bundles of tshirts in hand..
Eve: Oh I hope so! It’s getting boring being Eve the poor and un-famous visual merchandiser.
George: Yeah amen to that. If I could get my head together and actually write something decent that could possibly become a film – that’d be great. Until then I’ll be arranging t-shirts for peanuts in this dump. At least I wasn’t doing William’s black wall this morning – an hour of being bitched at wouldn’t have helped my mood.
Eve (sighing): We’re too good for this place. Pub after work?
George: Ehhhhhhh –
Eve (suggestively): Harry’s going.
George (quickly): I’ll go. (Pause – he eyes Eve with faux suspicion.) You know me far too well.
They reach the stockroom door and pause just before opening it.
Eve: Ready soldier?
George: Aye aye captain. Unleash hell!
Eve opens the stockroom door, and they walk through.
Scene 5: INT Till-bank DAY: JENNIFER is talking ROB (a new starter) through a few things. Jennifer is very short, plump and really quite unattractive with frizzy brown hair. She has a slight speech impediment which makes her sound a bit bunged up. Rob is average height, slim – messy, dirty blonde hair with stubbly facial hair. Attractive in a dirty, rough kind of way. He’s got an inordinate amount of bracelets and wristbands on both wrists. And he’s Irish. One customer is being served by an UNKNOWN EMPLOYEE a few tills up.
Jennifer: So it’s all pretty easy once you get the hang of it. Refunds are the trickiest but if you ever get stuck you can always ask me. (She winks at him even though it isn’t really a winking moment.)
Rob (Warily): Okay, great. (He pauses as though thinking of something to say to avoid an awkward silence.) I suppose it’s quite good doing different things throughout the day – stops it from getting boring eh?
Jennifer: Yeah, well to be honest I tend to just do tills. Because of my problems I can’t really do much heavy lifting or walking.
Rob: Problems?
Jennifer: I’ve had problems with my bones since I was little, I’ve got really weak joints. I can dislocate most of them though. (She says the last part as though it’s a turn on.) And I’m allergic to a lot of things – dust sets me off and if I even touch cheese then I go all red like a lobster! (She laughs hysterically and pats Rob’s arm affectionately.)
Rob (disgusted but trying not to show it): Well, fancy that.
Jennifer (Proudly): Yeah I’m in hospital a lot.
William appears at the tillbank. He starts opening drawers, apparently looking for something. After a moment he sighs loudly and turns to Jennifer and Rob.
William: Where are last month’s figures for suits?
Jennifer opens another drawer and procures a ringbinder.
Jennifer: Here. (She passes the ringbinder to William.) I started re-organising the tills yesterday but I had to stop because the dust was setting off my allergies, couldn’t stop sneezing for –
William (Interrupting): Yes, thank you Jennifer. Please, stop talking.
William gives Rob a wary glance and then struts away from the tills.
Rob: Who’s that?
Jennifer: That’s William. He’s the head of department for Suits & Smart. Don’t talk to him unless you’ve written a will. (She laughs at her own joke.) I mean I have actually written a will, but then you know that’s because of my problems.
Rob: He does seem a bit full on.
Jennifer: Yeah he’s just like that. You get used to it. I don’t know why the managers don’t just fire him to be honest – I think he must have some hold over them.
Rob (incredulously): Like what?
Jennifer: Well, I heard he’s blackmailed Chris Hudson – you know, the head manager? But that’s probably nonsense.
Rob: Probably?
Jennifer smiles mischievously and shrugs heavily but then instantly grabs her shoulder in pain.
Jennifer: Ow! My bones!
Scene 6: INT Suits&Smart DAY. William is looking over the sales report with Jade by a fixture in the middle of the department. He happens to look up and spots head manager CHRIS HUDSON and managers KATIE, PAUL and MARK heading towards them. Chris Hudson is camp, lanky and too fashionable – not classy or stylish. He’s a trend whore. Katie is fat, pig-like and trying to dress like a thin person. Paul is tall, hunched, messy hair with no product, bad jeans and a bad top. Mark is tubby without being fat, a cockney wideboy, smarmy looking but clean and well groomed.
William (quietly to Jade): Dumb and three dumbers at twelve o’clock. (Now loudly and cheerfully so the managers can hear.) Managers! How lovely to see you.
Chris Hudson eyes William warily but smiles nonetheless. The other managers all smile pleasantly in acknowledgement. Mark looks a little smug as he smiles.
Chris Hudson: Good morning William.
Jade fusses obviously with her hair.
Chris Hudson: And Jade of course.
Jade: Oh! Morning Chris!
Chris Hudson: We’ve just come from a managers meeting –
William: How lovely.
Chris Hudson: Yes. And we’ve just made a change which will improve the way we manage the store.
William (Raises his eyebrows in shock): Improve? (The sarcasm is obvious) You already do such a great job – I’m struggling to think of how –
Mark: I’m your new boss.
Jade’s jaw drops open. William glares at Mark, confused but outraged.
William (pretends he didn’t hear): I’m sorry, your east end accent is quite strong – could you say that again?
Chris Hudson: We’ve decided that each of us is going to oversee a department – take more of a hands on approach. And Mark’s been assigned to Suits & Smart.
Mark smiles smugly. William smiles back thinly.
Mark: And the first thing I want to talk about – (Mark points at the Black Wall) – is that.
Scene 7: INT T-shirt department DAY. Eve and George are arranging the t-shirts from earlier on the wall. Customers are buzzing around but they’re able to work uninterrupted.
Eve: I mean why are they all such arseholes? Is it too much to ask for just one, just one man from a bronte sisters novel to be real? Someone handsome and gentlemanly…..(she drifts off into a daydream.)
George: I know. My problem is my lack of metaphorical balls. I mean I could go up to Harry right now and ask him out. (He looks across the floor and sees HARRY – shortish, thin, devastatingly hot in a cute kind of way, sexy hair shaved short at the sides but long and swoopy on the top – arranging jeans.) Right now. I could. Other people would. But me, no, no – it’s all waiting and umming and ahhhing and stalking him on facebook.
Eve: You should ask him out! Believe me if there was one decent guy here for me I’d be asking him out in a heartbeat. Trouble is all the straight ones are tossers.
George: You’ll find your Adam Eve – I know you will. (George looks up from his work and sees Rob heading towards them) Maybe this is him now.
George gestures for Eve to look and she does. She looks instantly attracted to the rugged, sexual Irishman. He smiles at them both as he approaches.
Rob: Alright guys? I was told to come over and have a chat with you about whatever the hell it is you do.
Eve (she performs a strange kind of nod of acknowledgement which is almost a curtsey): Hi, I’m Eve. (She indicates to George with her thumb) This is George, he’s gay.
George (shakes hands with Rob): Yes, thank you for that introduction Eve. How are you……?
Rob: Rob, yeah nice to meet you. First day here so I’m just learning the ropes really.
George: Oh well we’re visual merchandisers, we basically make sure all the stock looks pretty. Our manager would say there’s more to it then that but that’s pretty much it. (He laughs.)
Eve: Are you new to London?
Rob (smiling): Oh geez did my accent give it away? Yeah I moved here a couple of weeks ago from the emerald isle. Lovely place but I got a craving for the big city – so here I am!
Eve: You should come to the pub tonight with the rest of us then!
Rob: Aw really?
George: Yeah, totally! There’s a whole group of us going – it’ll be great. We’ll drink, we’ll moan about our lives –
Eve (nodding in agreement): Normal Wednesday night stuff really.
Rob: Will that evil guy from suits be going?
George: William? I doubt it.
Eve: I think his skin itches if he gets too close to us. He’ll be off teasing homeless people by eating right in front of them or concocting some sort of sinister plot. You stay with us, you’ll be okay.
Rob: Cool. That sounds like good advice.
Scene 8: INT Suits & Smart DAY. William is standing with Jade and Mark in front of the black wall. Both William and Jade look frustrated – Mark looks very animated.
Mark: It’s BORING! (he grabs a black suit jacket off the wall and waves it for emphasis.)
William (snatching the suit jacket from Mark): It’s STYLISH! I know in your own safe little way you think you’re very trendy with your denim shirt buttoned all the way up to the top. But this is beyond your expertise – accept that I know better!
Mark: I know what sells William – this won’t. It’s depressing for god’s sake!
William: Depressing? (William laughs patronizingly.) Jade?
Jade: Black was all over the Autumn/Winter runways this year. Black on black, layered with different textures and patterns – it’s style at it’s simplest.
William: And since most of our customers are straight men who are very simple indeed then this will appeal to them. Combine any top with any trouser and any jacket on this wall and you’ve got style!
Mark: Well I don’t like it. (Mark grabs a bright turquoise suit jacket off of another fixture and hangs it in the middle of the black wall.) Maybe if you dotted a few of these throughout it, then maybe it’d be okay.
Jade holds a hand to her mouth to hold in fake vomit. William laughs nervously and also disgustedly, placing a hand on his forehead in despair.
William: Dear god Mark, how did you get this job? How could you suggest something so ludicrous – did your hair gel just seep into your brain? You put colour in there like that and it cheapens the whole concept!
Mark (forcibly shoving the jacket at William): I don’t care William. Manager trumps supervisor. Change it.
Mark strides away angrily. William forcefully passes the jacket to Jade and glares after Mark as he leaves.
William: That tubby barrel of jellied eels is going to be a problem.
Jade: He already is a problem! He put turquoise in the all black wall, my eyes are still stinging!
William: I’ve worked too hard to make this department a success – I can’t have him waddle in here and ruin it.
Jade: Please tell me you’ve got a plan?
William: Not yet. But I’ll think of something. He’s going to have to go.
Scene 9: INT The Tailor’s Arms pub NIGHT. It’s a traditional London pub – lots of dark wood and dark green furnishings, lots of glassware and bottles. It’s also packed. Eve, George and Rob are squashed in a corner. Eve’s got a G&T, George and Rob have got pints.
Rob: Is it always busy like this?
Eve: Not always. We only got paid last week so people are still relatively well off. By the end of the month we have to inhale our deodorants if we want alcohol.
George is scanning the crowd anxiously. He looks relieved when he sees Ed, snaking his way through the masses to get to the toilet. He reaches the toilet door, stands back as a guy exits and then enters himself. George eyes the toilet door after it shuts – a hint of lust in his eyes.
Eve (waving her hand in front of George’s eyes): Cooeee! Earth to George?
George: Sorry, I was miles away. (He takes a sip of his pint.) I might just nip to the loo actually – (He looks up and sees Ed exiting the toilet and returning to a group of his friends from denim.) No actually I can’t be bothered, I’ll hold it.
Eve: Well another day done chaps. First of many for you Rob.
Rob: Oh man don’t say it like that! I can’t wait for my day off already so I can have some fun!
George: Fun? (He laughs mirthlessly.) I think I remember that – it was that thing I used to do before Attire.
Rob: Nah life’s all about fun man. That’s what I’m in it for – I just want to live the hell out of my life, however long or short it might be. Bugger the consequences – that’s what I say.
Eve (impressed): You sound so full of hope!
George: What shall we give him? A week? Two?
Eve (laughing): That long?
Just then Rob’s phone goes. He looks at who’s calling and then looks apologetically at George and Eve.
Rob: Sorry guys, I gotta take this.
Scene 10: EXT. London Street NIGHT. A few smokers, a few late night revelers staggering about but otherwise quiet. Rob steps out of the pub and puts the phone to his ear. He looks serious.
Rob: Rob here. (A voice on the other end of the phone speaks inaudibly.) Yeah it was my first day today. (The voice speaks again.) Don’t worry, it’s all in hand. (Voice again.) I promise. I won’t let you down.
Rob ends the call, looks around to ensure he wasn’t overheard and exhales deeply. He turns and looks through the window of the pub, looking at the crowds of Topman employees, looking at George and Eve. He purses his lips and has a certain look in his eyes –a look that says he’s hiding something. And he is.
END
214attire 